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Some days I live twice and some, not at all.

Altitude is a master thief and steals time and space. Some days I live twice and some, not at all.

Imagine traveling from one side of the world to another in 16 hours. Realistically, no imagination is necessary, I realize -  we do this now, commonly; we do this and don't bat an eye. If I stop and really think about it though, I am awestruck. We take this evolution, this advancement in travel, this progression for granted, naturally. In more modern history, when travel by ship was new and innovative, it took months to reach a destination and only the very elite would dream of experiencing it!

This speed travel is at a price. An entire day and night can be consumed and essentially, lost or gained. I leave the middle east, United Emirates, on a Tuesday morning for example, and arrive in Vancouver on that very day - Tuesday morning. However, what is given is taken back. I leave Vancouver, British Columbia (my Home) Tuesday morning and arrive back into Dubai, Wednesday morning, depending on the route taken. A full day disappears into "thin air,"   almost literally.

Now this is a simple concept we are all aware of and are able to absorb in whatever way we feel necessary to our lives - think about it or not. However, I am living it on a constant basis; week after week, year after year. Imagine doing this consistently and the confusion it renders on oneself! It is an effort to stay on top of something as automatic as today's date!

January brought me to my furthest (Western) destination, San Francisco, then, oppositely, to the east, Seoul, Korea. I was then rostered to travel to Plaisance (Mauritius) due South. Back to Dallas, Texas and then to Bangkok, Thailand. In between all of that travel I operated a flight north to Moscow, Russia. It was a ping-pong effect, however it was a four cross game where the rules were changed into something a little more exciting; including four different seasons and an expert attempt at packing. Endurance wins this game.

Presently, right now, at this moment, I am continuing this writing from New York City..... When I am much more coherent, I shall recollect some moments! 

To be continued....

Head Full of Doubt, Road Full of Promise

Whose head isn't full of doubt? After struggling to start and premise this writing, ample time has passed since my last writing. (Over a year!) I wonder what sort of interest and to whom I am writing to.  I received an email from an Ethiopian girl and she asked where I disappeared? Curiosity prevailed and I realized 1200+ "hits" wandered upon one of my adventures and I thought only seven people read my ramblings. Oh, the internet! Such an underestimated public forum. Such a bloated statement, I admit.

I have struggled to keep up with sharing this journey and have just been moving along; with friends, with a new love, who feels so comfortably old and experienced as if he's been with me all along, and with travel;  essentially with life. I have to admit that this "one new experience a week" is a journey that I am failing at "documenting." I am certainly enthralled in every moment, and I am trying, trying, trying to absorb and experience all each day presents.

I am overwhelmed with the speed of time and being present in that time. Allow me to become somewhat grounded, if just for an hour!

Wow - here I am. In front of the keyboard... thinking.. reminiscing... recollecting. Quite drawn to rewrite. Drawn to WRITE.

After so much focus and challenge with a brand new existence; a baby boy entered my husband's and my life! Here I must fast forward, as I do not want this to be a baby blog... (not completely...) I am feeling like a new person who is so blessed and happily fumbling along. "Life is hard, you have to change." A quote from one of my favourite bands, Blind Melon. All has been beautiful; the stress, the heartache, the joy of every moment and all of the challenges as well.

My dreams, my heart, my everything is so very complete as I married the most amazing person on Earth and we miraculously brought to be the most perfect little angel into the World. I love them both so much.

We love and care for this boy and still manage to travel with our careers... for just awhile longer. I am content, somewhat, since we have incredible support and our boy is loved and cared for by family, while we work ever so hard to get on our feet whilst continuing our journey in our current career.
Travel: after baby - bitter-sweet. Bitter because I cry leaving my boy - the vision of him, his scent, the sound and feel of him. I hold him close and rock him as our heart beats coincide. I have sung to him every time I lay him down to sleep since the day he was born. I sing, "Leaving on a jet plane..." and I cry, because it is true...  I never let him know my fears and sadness. I will shelter him and protect and let him know only innocent joy, as he is so young and perfect. I am happy because he is happy with our Whanau: our family, who love him very much.

I feel driven to work as hard as I can for this family. Living on one income brought realities. I am now able to contribute towards our future. The best part: I can be there more than I thought - more than a "Monday to Friday" career would able! 

Currently, I am in Dallas, Texas. I have been wide awake for weeks it seems. Bounced around the world quite literally. I am so sleepless that I am driven to write tonight. I am seeking some sort of grounding and refuge from the absolute chaos that is life sometimes.

My skin is getting older, it seems. Still traveling and watching many suns come up and down until the moon shows itself. Hours into day and night.

Some days I live twice and some, not at all. Altitude is a master thief of time and space. (Prelude to my next blog).

"It" vs Home is Where the Heart Is

It may be something that you strive for while making that sale, meeting the forecasted target dictated to you by your company, work a second job, re-mortgage your home and forego renovations, or perhaps, even take out a loan. You wait for It and It gives you something to look forward to and you work towards It. You calculate, you consult with your loved ones, you coordinate and weigh your options to accommodate all involved . Day after day, week after week; watching that clock,  and budgeting. You fill your days with all that is life, in the meantime, but all the while planning that "It"- whatever It may be. Booking your "time off," with the career you are married to; you negotiate. You and friends, lovers or family. You speak to agents or research online and confirm It. You double check; you state your credit card number several times, and you committ to It: that weekend, week, or for those fortunate ones, a month or longer. The hours and efforts are invested. And again, you cross off the days on the office or home calendar.

Next, you make lists of what to pack, what bills to pay beforehand and plan endlessly for It. You converse with your neighbour or colleagues and compare options, views and you share experiences -never evading opinions and suggestions proudly, of past trips you've travelled and how much value there is in It.

By now you understand what "It" is. Travel: it is something in your sights and is part of your goals. Goals for togetherness for your family unit that brings you closer, or on the other spectrum, it is a goal to experience life as an individual while inevitably connecting with strangers. As a result memories form, thereafter, and the people involved bare witness to your experiences, which further enriches the journey and has long lasting effect. Year after year, or every second year, as it may be, travel and the plans keep you going and you repeat as needed - or as allowed.

Finally, you would think, you go, you experience travel and the world.... and this is life. This is the good life.

Yet, "It" is not final because you return HOME... and there is nothing sweeter.

When one travels endlessly, as I do, I feel that an important part of this process is missing somewhat, but I will not dare complain. Home is where the heart is.

Sharing soon : Vacation to Seychelles and Bali!

Life: Presently LOUD

Have you ever experienced life in such fast motion, and after time you just want it louder and louder - in your heart, your ears, your eyes; your photographic memory? Your NOW. That is the building aftermath of the continuous experiences compiled in my mind at present. I haven't written for quite some time and cannot begin to catch myself, or you, my small "audience," up. I am "riding solo" and one might deplore but is powerless to prevent the inevitable: I am in love with this adventure. I find myself fighting it and half of me wants to settle down, in the traditional sense, and leave this journey behind. Perhaps my "worlds" will meet at some point as the adventurous, open, and forever hard to hold, side of me, continues to search for that life which tames me. Until then, I travel and search this "one life".

Post - vacation to Vancouver, British Columbia, my beloved home, I am not slowing down, quite surprisingly. The nostalgic, full of familiarity, time spent with loving family and friends, sharing unforgettable moments and reminiscing whilst creating new memories. I was surrounded by people I love so dearly and was reconnected with old friends too. It meant the world to me. I know what true love is and am the luckiest girl in the world. The holiday season has renewed energy within and the reunions are poignant and embedded. How can I live a world away from my "roots"? As torn as I may be, upon relection, I know there is such support. My love is reciprocated and it is vivid.

I continue, "keeping up and keeping on". I am meeting like- minded people and expanding my learning and am wide eyed! Perhaps pushing the limits a bit, but becoming accustomed to continuous newness and excitement.

Since my last writing, I returned from Seoul, Korea and my amazing vacation to my hometown. How beautifully eventful life has been since. I am not sure where to begin! I have operated several "repeat" flights and some new; Johannesburg, South Africa and Munich, Germany, for example. All have been spectacular, memorable and continuously inspiring.

To keep some sort of focused timeline and to have a beginning stepping stone to current date, as time astonishingly brings me to the month of February, allow me to begin with New Years' Eve!

I touched down, returning to Dubai, from "Hanging out in Hong Kong;" a bonding - with -crew, two-day layover that consisted of firstly, letting off steam with four pilots from Air Berlin and some crazy Australian gals, a Czech gal and a Spanish friend, and the night eventually wound me down to wake up to an extremely funfilled day at the Hong Kong Disneyland! An adventure with a cool girl from Egypt. Quite the kalaidescope of company and sights.

Back in Dubai; New Years Eve - I forced myself to gather some energy, put on a party dress and complete the outfit with dreaded heels. I was to meet up with my dear friend, Monaco, and join her at a house party. With only an hour to get to my 20 minute - away destination, I flagged a taxi. After much arguing and changing of routes, it was fruitless to think I would make it to my friends' venue before midnight. The taxi driver and I quit debating and it was inevitable that we would be watching the fireworks together. We were abruptly and rudely stopped on a five lane highway on Sheik Zayed Road, in front of the Burj Khalifa. Ten minutes to midnight. I stepped outside for a moment and dialed my friends to tell them I'd join them after midnight for a belated celebration. It may be hours before I could reach them as the city was shut down!

At that moment a man on a motorcycle approached me and devilishly asked me if I wanted a ride. Under other circumstances I would not be an advocate for such risks - actually, that is not true, I weighed my options and being a complete motorcycle loving, risk - taker, I jumped on in my short dress and bore my heels onto the pegs. We zipped in and out of traffic and I watched the fireworks from the back of this gentleman's bike! It was straight out of a movie! He was an excellent rider and for some reason I felt safe speeding down the highway without a helmet. (Thinking consciously later, I can vow that I will be smarter next time and care for my safety!) It was an amazing and unforgettable night. Most often spontainiety is the perfect recipe for the making of a memory and I was thrilled to have allowed myself to enjoy that adventure! The rest of the night - into the morning is history...

Speaking of adventures, I recently returned from a Sydney, Australia and Auckland, New Zealand operational. The six - day layover was incredible. The flights were a breeze and I had company along one sector. A friend booked himself on my flight as he was on his way home to Auckland, for leave. We met up in Auckland and he showed me some very beautiful sights. It is summer in the South Pacific and with the warm weather I had feelings of being on vacation! We shared an amazing meal at a cozy and hip outdoor bistro that had a sensational menu, complete with New Zealand wine. The night ended with Champagne and many laughs.

The morning of this 24 hour layover, I was surprised by said friend, with a car ride to the country. This journey brought us to Auckland SKYDIVE! I was stunned and didn't have a chance, even if I thought for a brief second, that I could get out of this one! Even though I have been waiting for this moment, I went through all the usual emotions; denial, shock, perhaps even anger, to name a few. Before long I was grinning ear to ear  and with an incredibly goofy smile fixed on my face, we suited up! After absorbing only a fraction of the instructions presented to us, we boarded the small aircraft and took off. The scene was incredible; I mean the scene and the scenery! My friend and I were the only "tourists" that day and we went up with avid jumpers who were happy to be going up for a leisurely dive on our dime. The crew knew we were used to high altitudes and upon our stunned agreeance, took us a little higher than I think was legal (don't quote me) and they extended our freefall even though this was both, our first jump! Hell yeah!

I cannot begin to explain the details of each and every moment. My tandem instructor was brilliant. Sam is from the UK and resides in New Zealand where he jumps on some days and surfs the other days. I am not sure what he does at night, but no doubt it is condusive to his rush seeking! We were the last to jump out of the six chutes. I watched each and every jumper get themselves to the edge of the open doors and push off! The anticipation heightened my experience and I became more and more expectant as my turn neared! We shimmied over to the edge, Sam and I, my breath caught and I concentrated on arching my back and looking up. We dropped! I watched the white, gleaming plane above us become smaller and smaller as we plummeted downward. I tried to breathe and then relaxed into it; even finding myself smiling as I took in the sights; the sparkling coastline, the beautiful landscape, the fluffy clouds and the colourful parachutes below. After about 45 to 55 seconds the chute was pulled and the sensation was such a rush, as I was able to comprehend what just happened, and all became quiet in my ears. There was a camera in my face, which is bitter-sweet. Bitter because I am camera shy and wanted to be only aware of sky and the earth. Sweet because when I watch the video I cannot stop rolling around on the ground, laughing, and the memory rushes back all at once, all over again. Incredible!

I owe many, many thanks to the weather -gods that day, and more importantly, to my friend who made this amazing day happen for us. Thank you, H! We shared something that I will never forget - a pinnacle experience engraved! I certainly feel very alive and even with that thrilling jump fresh in my mind, and another jump in my sights, my new travel buddy and I vow to top that expedition. Perhaps a surfing school vacation in Bali or the South of France, or a cable car bungee "flight" in South Africa... I am off to do some research!!

Seoul after Soul

Days go by and by and by. Since Seoul I have travelled to Sydney, Australia and Auckland, New Zealand. I have also just returned from New York City. The six day Auzzie trip, including three energy - testing layovers, is long and always fueled with excitement; plans are made and we're off experiencing all we can in the limited hours we have. Endurance is stretched and I am quite in awe, at times, as to how we perform so professionally, elegantly and with such patience on the flights. Like speed - dating, we are speed travelling, and then we put on our uniforms and act the part with sincerity and care for complete strangers. Once I return to my apartment in Dubai, I am torn between catching up with my friends, should they be in the city, and retreating to my pajamas or to the beach. One involves eventful escapades and the other a blissful near- coma experience. One entails make-up and fuss and the other, acceptable neglect! My friends usually win the "fight" and I thank them for their always exuberant energy and impossible- to- decline invitations! Have I mentioned how these friends are my family?

Tonight, however, I decline. Exhausted from a Saudi Arabia, five hour "turn- around" that turned into a fourteen hour day as we experienced delays on ground, and in the air, the latter due to trials and practices in Dubai airspace by aviators around the world preparing for "The Most Expensive Show in the World": The Duabi Airshow. Today's operational flight drafted me to find allowances in myself that I did not know existed. The Islamic peoples are currently conducting their pilgrimage to the Mecca, and full, demanding flights kept crew on their toes. Adherring to their culture and protecting their zam zam water onboard that they collected from the fountain located in the Mecca, careful not to touch men in passing after they have vowed to Miqat and are in their Ihram dressing after a long procedure of washing in the lavatories - picture men of all ages and shapes in nearly nothing, draped in white cloth and as one looks down the aircraft cabins there is a sea of white clothed passengers. I have spoken Arabic I didn't even know I knew! Dutifully, I informed passengers of the direction of the Qibla and gave space for prayer on the aircraft.

Presently, I am at a restless - rest now, rewarded with work -well done, but beaten. Fatigued, but gladly in a comfortable and familiar room. My bedroom. Not another hotel room with strange sounds and smells, where I worry to wake up in alarming wonder, initially, as to where I am. My bed, my few things, which are growing and I will never be able to take them home with me, my books, my music and my notes will comfort me to sleep tonight. Yes, my notes: I blog, I log and I keep notes in a somewhat nerdy fashion. It alights my lofty and analytical mind and it helps me get some grounded "down time". Quite honestly, to encourage before said, I have one Arabic television channel that interrupts old movies with prayer intermissions that are admittedly not welcome! (Earnestly, one minute you're watching "Top Gun", for instance, right before Tom Cruise and Kelli Gillis are about to have their infamous romantic encounter - finally, and the screen blanks out. Arabic prayer music erupts and graphics bazarely appear. The show returns and ...nothing. On with the plot minus the goods!) Where am I? I exagerrate only slightly. Further to that, comically, I have watched movies in the public cinema, such as Hangover II and the censorship is hilarious to be sure! Note to self - See blockbusters at Outstations!

Complaints aside - enough of my soul but onto SEOUL!

Perhaps, like a musician, just as any fitting music may move someone to sound, or the pull to study a specific area of interest or art: art of intellect, inspiration in sciences, kinetic movement, mathematics, philosophy, on and on, or a "layman" passionate to any subject of choice, for that matter, I am drawn lately, to words. Words are my beat. Inspiration to recount and interpret only moments. An avenue to share this journey. I find myself typing my keys in such a way as if I was hitting keys of some sort of synthysizer; profoundly wanting to express. As for beat, I still feel the beat of Seoul with all of its sights; day and night.

Excuse my lofty self: KOREA, bordered by eight mountains, is a stunningly technological, and a highly advanced structural metroplolis! The architecture is modern and exact.  Bisected by the Han River, the city is spectacular - historically a trade route to China via the Yellow Sea. Seoul is the capital of South Korea and means "special city". The population in the heart of Seoul is 12 million and including the very near vacinity it is over 20 million! Vancouver, Canada - the population is 2.3 million. Imagine the comparison.

I ventured out into the streets, exiting my hotel which is centralized in the Yeongdong District. I am minutes away from downtown Seoul and the Itaewon District. The metro being the third largest in the enitre world, is simple, efficient and I feel safe day or night. The KTX Bullet train is impressive! Asking, periodically, for directions is easy in the business district as English speaking people are available after a few bashful attempts.

There is quite a presence of Christianity, surprisingly to me, who is admittedly ignorant of the structure and politics of South Korea. I happened across an impossibly massive and beautiful church that resembles that of the churches in Rome! How oddly it stood out.

The divide between North and South Korea is clear. So unbelievably clear that I require my passport to be taken when visiting the DMZ  - De-militerized Zone. The Estuary is currently closed and is in the Transition Area - bordered by "Two Koreas," civil entry has been barred; no longer actively used for navigation.

The nightlife and food makes me wish I had more time! .. And I will return, so more personal experiences to follow.

Continuing this blog, I just returned from a beautiful vacation to my home, Vancouver. I immediately touched down, slept momentarily and travelled, once again, to Seoul. Home, just now, in Dubai - this girl should try very hard to sleep for more than a four hour interval! Business Class promotional course to follow in a day! I am prepared and excited for a whole new world in the upper deck of the A380 Airbus! You should see this place! Google it!

The Senses

I've been reading diligently; finding a certain console. I finished 6 books recently, ranging from authors such as the Dhali Lama to Ernest Hemingway. I have picked up books here and there with subjects baring titles such as, "Yoga Bitch," to "Beruit to Jerusalem". Books and this blog seem to be somewhat like my boyfriend, as I have been known to say before. I escape and consult, learn, and I find companionship. I visit, come home to, travel with, and bring to my bedroom these books. I am faithful to the writings, even if I find it not to my perfect liking and I finish it to the end, if it must end, taking from it what may intrigue, enlighten, entertain, evoke anger or teach. Always loyal and appreciative.

I say this all too aware of the judgement of such statements and certainly recognize that this portrays an exposed solitudeness beyond reprieve, and may even provoke a certain sadness, in some, for me! Allow me to explain how words have opened me up to travel and life!

The writings, at times, have included real time and place, and at other times, the literature explores history and landmarks, or both! Recognizable when one is actually standing on the very soil and experiencing the structure, the art, or grounds. For example, enjoying a latte below the Eiffel Tower, or sitting and feeling the sun in the square at The Louvre in Paris. Traversing the Great Wall in China with ones own feet! (Not sure if there is any other way). Listening to a symphony at the Opera House in Sydney with near tears promising to be worthy. Smelling the raw meats on the streets of Bangkok on a hot, humid day when not feeling well to begin with, or watching horrible, unconcievable events transpire in many parts of the world;  not all is beautiful and pleasing.

A kind of relationship, or at least a connectedness involving anything from a passing moment with a barista to a more personal encounter as being unfortunate and without language to help one achieve answers to goals when lost in a foreign country and having a complete stranger there to help most anxiously. I feel my senses detecting and absorbing all instances, big or small. It is overwhelming and consuming.

Fleeting moments, all moving too fast for one like me, who wishes to appreciate and "pay tribute" to perplexities around me. Simple moments evaporate. This is life, I understand. Fast motion that exhausts and energizes me all at the very same time. I have neither complaint or pure joy as there is no time for that. Or, I have both and it is all too much. I do, however, learn to take in what I can and appreciate all moments as they come and go. Isn't this what we all do?

So I listen, observe, and touch, and I smell and taste. Presently, feeling a trifle lost and if you can understand, found, I observe mostly these days. I observe if I like what I am smelling or tasting, what I am hearing and overall: what I am feeling about all of the senses. How strange to me to be living a dream such as this life I live, and appreciate it all. What a perfect avenue to find more! And more my heart will find.

Speaking of the heart, and I sincerely wish not to "dwell" on lonlieness, however, I cannot ignore my heart. I have never been this far away from loved ones and the sheer pain, at times, is unignorable and deplorable. I have not been without family and a partner in all my life. It is just me here, in a sense. At least that is how I feel often. As much as this experience has opened me up to unforgettable and lasting bonds. I am surrounded by lovely, sisterly, friends. I am lucky. But, we leave, we come back, and we leave again. Each searching for what will keep us here or take us away. No abandoment issues here, as I am the abandomer, just a sense of an immenent transient lifestyle, therefore, one I have concluded, to be embraced and to develop from and then, inevitablay, to move on from.

Books may not take all the credit. My life and learning thus far warrants much award for my seemingly melancholy writing. An upcoming visit home is on my mind. The future is ringing in my ears and further dreams of settling down to a humble abode, while ridding the world of disease is in my sights ;)

The sunny disposition always prevails, thank goodness! Onto Seoul, Korea in a day plus one. The "plus one" will entail more packing and preparation on the way to forever keep moving. Moving onwards to the next adventure.

Continuing this blog, days later -- I have much to say about Seoul!! An amazing city, to say the very least at this time as it is very early in the morning, but which has not a lot of baring except that I am incoherent: I have just returned. I have unpacked my bags, climatized my still swaying body from the turbulent flight. I now swipe the red lipstick from my face and draw my curtains tight and will fall suit to no attempt at sleep....... I look forward to updating my events to my Korea trip! Correspondence,  Emails, work - on ground - roster checking..... and it seems a second date with a doctor lingers..... Too tired to contemplate.